


It's a Wonderful Life/Blood is Thicker Than Water

by Axel770



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Family, Friendship, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-06 11:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Axel770/pseuds/Axel770
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto had never been one to share his pain. He had always preferred the lonelier route of shouldering the burden then dealing with it when he could. That way, no one else had to get hurt.</p><p>Based on a prompt submitted in marukaprompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a heavily unedited fic that I wrote on a whim. I just really wanted to see what people thought of it. I'm seriously considering picking it up even if it doesn't get a lot of attention but I'd really like to see what people think of it. I really need constructive criticism and suggestion! The title is tentative. Well the whole thing is tentative and will be needing polishing but for now I hope you enjoy. Thank you very much!

The sun was beating down hard on Makoto’s tanned skin. Sweat glistened on his forehead yet he made no attempt at wiping it away. He wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted. Working at the docks gave you no such moment of respite. Though Makoto loved manual labour, 8 hours under the sun without any breaks was too much, even for him. Makoto would have never imagined himself working right here beside the ocean he feared so much. That was a long time ago, he thought. The fear that use to take hold of him like a vice seemed so far away, he hardly had enough time to bother with it anymore. Oh but it was there, Makoto knew. It was just waiting, lurking in the shadows of the deep water. Waiting for him. And one day, it will take him away. Just like it did with that old fisherman and Rin and Gou’s dad and...

He shook his head. It was half past 3. His shift was about to end soon. Haru was supposed to get in at around 5. He’d go home, change clothes then prepare dinner before going to get Haru. Just one more box left to...

“Oof!”

Makoto stumbled and the box he was holding fell to the ground with a bad-sounding crash that made Makoto cringe. The tape that was repeatedly wrapped around the package for emphasis read _fragile._ He let out a frustrated sigh.

He heard a snicker.

The tall brunette pretended to hear nothing. He picked up the package and prepared an apology in his head as he made his way to his boss. His boss had yelled at him, furious. Makoto did his best to stand his ground even when the boss’s angry spit flew across his face.

“This is your fucking third one this week, Tachibana!”

“I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”

“Don’t feed me that bullshit. Get the fuck out of here. I’ve got tons of guys waiting in line to take your job.”

Makoto who was looking down the whole time suddenly looked up in distress.

“What? You got something to say?”

‘I need that money...!’ Makoto desperately wanted to say. But the more rational side of him knew that standing up to this loudmouthed bald man with the beer-gut would do absolutely nothing for him. He bit his lips, shook his head.

“Heh. Good. Now get your things and get out.”

Makoto walked back to the storage room, frustrated but he was just glad that this time his tears didn’t make an unnecessary appearance. He’d find another way to deal with it later. He’s been in worse situations. (Though, he had a feeling he’d go drinking with Haru later tonight)

There was a figure standing by the doorway, a smug grin plastered on his face that Makoto wanted nothing more to do than to bash in. And that was really saying something coming from him. He ignored him and walked to door to the locker room.

“Butterfingers, Tachibana?” the figure called.

‘Didn’t you push me?’ Makoto wanted to say. Well, whatever. Bastard got what he wanted.

Makoto went to the locker room, collected his things before leaving the docks for good.

* * *

 

“I’m home.” Makoto called out.

Before, years ago, he would always, without fail, be greeted by a warm ‘welcome home’ from his family. Sometimes it came in ones, sometimes, in twos and occasionally, all four of them would greet him back with one big resounding _‘Okaeri!’_

But now, he’d be lucky to get one. Nothing but emptiness and the buzz from TV greeted him. But that was nothing new either.

Makoto left his shoes in the doorstep and went in. He went in to the living room where he had expectantly found his dad, passed out over the _kotatsu_. The table was strewn over with bottles of alcohol, cigarettes and horse-racing tickets.

‘He must have lost again.’ Makoto thought looking forlornly at the mess. He put out the cigarette his father was still holding loosely on one hand. He turned off the TV, cleaned out the bottles and cigarette butts and then tucked in his father underneath the mattress of the _kotatsu_. Makoto closed the door ever so softly so as not to wake his father up.

After disposing the garbage, Makoto made his way upstairs.

“Ren? Are you here? Ren?” he called out softly, mindful of his father and supposedly his mother too.

No response came and it was only then that Makoto remembered that he came home an hour early today. Ren was probably still at school. Makoto scoffed. There was no guarantee of that either.

Makoto made his way down the hall to his parents’ room and lightly knocked on the door.

“...Mom?”

No response. Not surprising. He peeked in and saw a lump underneath the sheet. He took a while, making sure that the lump was moving up and down before he closed the door and made his way to Ren’s room.

“Jeez.” Makoto said to no one in particular. The room was a mess. Clothes were scattered across the floor, bed sheet unmade, books and papers lying around in a pile in one corner. Makoto sighed. He’d make sure to scold Ren later. He wasn’t a little kid anymore. He was in middle school for God’s sake.

Makoto picked up Ren’s school blazer and a few more articles of clothing thrown across the floor. He’d dump it later at the laundry bin where he’d probably wash it tonight or tomorrow (depends on how long he’ll stay out with Haru)

Something fell out of the blazer when Makoto picked up a sock.

‘What…’

Makoto went to pick up the mystery item and his eyes went wide in disbelief. A pack of cigs. Scratch that. Half a pack. ‘Which means…’ Makoto’s eyebrows knit together as he crumpled the pack in his hand. He collected the rest of clothes, went downstairs to dump them in the bin then went outside. There was a trash bin all the way over at the late Miss Tamura’s place where Makoto had dumped the fags. He hoped he would never see them ever again.

Ren was getting an earful from him later, whether he wanted to or not.

Makoto made his way back to his house. He passed by Haru’s house and felt a sort of longing hit him. Makoto had missed Haru so much. He had always been Makoto’s reprieve and right now, he could really use one. Haru was coming back today which dulled the lonely ache in his chest and was replaced with an eagerness to see his best friend’s face again. Though Makoto found it curious since they were supposed to be in the middle of a term or at least that was what he heard from Rin. Haru never really talked about college but he was probably just being considerate of Makoto. Makoto laughed to himself and that ache became harder to ignore. That was just like Haru, wasn’t it?

‘I can’t wait to see him!’ Makoto thought.

Filled with newfound motivation, Makoto hurried back to his house.

* * *

With dinner made and other chores done, Makoto was all set and ready to leave for the station to meet Haru. Makoto looked at his phone at a message he got from Haru just recently.

‘Go to the station. I’m almost there.’ was the message’s simple content.

Makoto tucked the phone in his pocket with a grin he couldn’t help plastered on his face. He opened the door to the living room where he found his dad awake and TV turned on. Beside him was a bottle of beer. Makoto looked at it for moment before turning to his dad and saying,

“Dad, I’m going to go pick up Haru from the station now…”

It doesn’t seem like his father heard him since he didn’t do or say anything.

“Dad?”

This time Makoto knew he had heard because he grunted but that was enough of a response.

“I might be getting home late. There’s food on the table though.” Makoto said.

His father just flipped through another channel. Makoto tried to supress a sigh.

“I’m going then.”

“Makoto.”

Makoto paused, surprised. He had to admit, it had been a while since he had last heard his father’s voice.

“Y-Yes?”

“Don’t forget … Today is…”

Makoto’s dad trailed off. He took a swig of his beer and that was that. He was gone again. Makoto smiled and greeted him one last time before shutting the door behind him. Of course Makoto knew what today was. He wished he forgot. 4 years ago today was when everything had started spiralling downwards; the source of his nightmares for the past four years that didn’t involve the monsters beneath his bed.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t let himself succumb to it. It had already taken his parents. He hadn’t for the past four years and he wasn’t going to start now. His family needed him.

‘But… I can, can’t I? Just for a little while…?’

Makoto whipped out his phone and sent a text Haru, telling him that he’ll be a little late then tucked it back in his pocket. He put down his bag and made his way down another room where a single closet stood. Makoto opened it and it revealed a makeshift shrine. It has been a while as well since Makoto had last opened this. It was well kept probably by his mother who lit incense every morning. Though, this morning he hadn’t seen her or smelled anything.

Makoto had gotten the lighter on top of the closet and took a single stick of incense and lit it and set it on the altar. He clapped his hands together in silent prayer.

“…”

“…”

“…”

Makoto looked up at the picture on the altar and he couldn’t help but smile. He felt his eyes prickle and soon tears streamed down his face. Yet he continued to smile even when the side of his lips started to falter.

“We really miss you… Ran.”


	2. Reunion/Wasn’t That The Whole Point of Coming Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so here it is. The first chapter. There’s really not much to say. I wrote this within a day so it may seem rushed. But I had a lot of fun writing it nonetheless. A bit of fluff before all the heartbreak. Thanks for being patient with me and I hope you enjoy reading!

Makoto had never been one to share his pain. He had always preferred the lonelier route of shouldering the burden then dealing with it when he could. That way, no one else had to get hurt. Perhaps, it was because he grew up trying to be a good older brother to the twins. Maybe, it was because he had grown up with Haru who preferred not to talk about things like that.Maybe, he just didn’t want to become anyone’s baggage. Makoto wasn’t really sure.

So when he came to pick up Haruka from the station, he had dried his eyes and put on a carefree smile, the smile he always had on whenever he was with Haru. And it didn’t take much effort too. He was always happy to see his best friend! Besides Makoto knew that, even if Haru did notice, he would do him the favour of not mentioning it, as he always did.

 Makoto had always been grateful for that part of their friendship.

About three blocks from the station, Makoto began to run, eager to see Haru again. When he had arrived, he was panting and sweaty. He looked around and realized that the station was mostly empty, save for a lone boy who was sitting silently on a bench with his eyes closed. Makoto felt like his heart was about to burst at the sight of such a familiar face.

“Haru!” Makoto called out.

Immediately, the boy’s eyes popped open, revealing tranquil blue eyes that looked in Makoto’s direction. Once Makoto confirmed that it was indeed Haru, he didn’t waste any time. Meanwhile, Haru had only just stood up, with one arm already hoisting up his duffel bag, when he was nearly tackled back down by Makoto’s sudden embrace.

“O-Oi…!” An embarrassed Haru said, stumbling a bit backwards.

“Haru! I missed you!” Makoto said in exuberant joy, apparently unaware of anything else except for the boy in front of him.

“M-Makoto sto—!”

But Haruka didn’t continue. Instead he let out a defeated sigh. Normally, something like this would merit an annoyed grunt or two and then he would tell Makoto to get off of him because it was embarrassing. But considering what today was, he thought… Today was an exception.Wasn’t that the whole point of coming here?

He decided to let Makoto indulge himself longer. Besides, it’s not like Haru didn’t miss the big goof either. Haru tried his best to reciprocate the gesture by awkwardly hugging him back with his free arm. But he heard Makoto suddenly laugh and pull away.

“Haha, you don’t have to force yourself, Haru. I was just excited to see you. I’m sorry for hugging you out of the blue!”

Haru looked at him with knitted brows, confused, before he realized that yet again the privacy of his mind has been violated. So he turned his head away in retaliation. Oh he was annoyed now, for sure.  _Well I’m sorry for forcing myself._  And like the mind-reader he is, Makoto laughed in response.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m sure you meant well, Haru-chan.”

Another defeated sigh escapes Haru’s lips. All these years of telling him to stop adding “-chan” to his name and he hasn’t learned once. Why do I even bother.

“Whatever.” He says instead, picking up the rest of his luggage. “Let’s go already. It’s getting late.”

“Eh? What?” Makoto says, visibly surprised.

“What is it?” Haru asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Does this mean… I can call you Haru-chan from now on?”

Haruka shot him a glare that obviously said ‘of course not you idiot’ and once again Makoto had laughed. It had felt so nice to laugh again! It was more than he had in months. He was always happy whenever he was with any of his old friends (though, he would never admit this but he was happiest when he was with Haru). He gently took one of the bags Haru was carrying and Haru let him take it without much complaint.

“But you know…” Makoto said as he took his place beside Haru.

Haru’s watches him from the corner of his eyes and despite the stoicism of his expression, Makoto smiles knowing that Haruka was listening. He gazes far ahead, far, far ahead. Farther than where the sun was setting on the horizon. To a place even Haru couldn’t see. Then… Makoto was gone. Lost in his own world. But Haru didn’t dare ask, didn’t have any intention of snapping him out of it. Under the warm orange light of the setting sun, Makoto had looked old, too old for someone their age. 

Makoto eventually comes back and his face melts away into his usual expression. Though to Haru, he felt as if that mask could quickly give way to tears.

“I… really missed you, Haru.”

“…”

Haru wanted to say a great deal of things in response to that. But he found himself unable to. He had always had a hard time expressing his thoughts into words properly. And throughout the years, it was thanks to Makoto that these thoughts and feelings were properly conveyed to the right people. He was so grateful… Yet here he was, unable to even express that gratitude.

“A-Ah, again…! Sorry, I must have made you uncomfortable.” Makoto said, embarrassed.

_No…!_

“Forget I said it, okay?”

_No, that’s not…_

“…true!”

Makoto turns to Haru confused. “Huh? Did you say something Haru?”

Haru’s mouth was immediately sewn shut and freestyle swimmer just shook his head. He looked off to the side, being unable to look at Makoto’s concerned eyes.  Instead he tightened the grip on the handle of his duffel bag, trying to figure out why he was being such a big idiot.

Again he remembers a text he got from Rin on the train;  **Wasn’t that the whole point of coming here?**

_Shut up. It’s easier said than done._

“Haru?”

Haru breaks out of his mental argument with a nonexistent Rin to turn to Makoto.

“Ah, I was wondering… Have you eaten yet?”

Haruka blinked once. “Yeah, on the way here.”

“O-Oh, I see…”

“…”

“…”

Haru was about to ask him if he wanted to get something to eat but was interrupted or rather, answered by an almost feral growl coming from Makoto’s stomach. The brunette’s shoulders tensed and he looked away from Haru in embarrassment.

“Makoto.” Haru’s stern voice pierced Makoto like an arrow through a stack of hay.

“A-Ah? Well, you see umm…” Makoto started, scratching his face nervously. “I was uh, working this afternoon so I didn’t really get to eat lunch…? Ahaha.”

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“Ah…Umm…”

Haru took that as a no. He let out an exasperated sigh that distressed Makoto and the brunette went rambling on about something about eating crackers at work so Haru didn’t need to worry or something. But Haru was having none of it. Jeez. Just how much of an idiot was this guy?

**This is your chance Nanase! Take it!**

_Speaking of other idiots…_

**What? You gonna be a pussy about this again?**

_…I already said that it’s not that easy!_

**So you are just being a pussy.**

_…shut up._

**Aww come on! Wasn’t that the whole point of coming here?**

_… … …_

“Ah! I did make dinner at home so I can eat then. So really, don’t worry about me, Haru! I’ll be fine.”

_The last time you said that you almost drowned._

 “We should get home soon. It’s getting pretty late.” Makoto said, checking his watch and speeding up his pace.

**It’s now or never.**

_Shit._

“Makoto wait…!”

Haruka stops Makoto by clutching onto his hand. This action greatly surprises them both and Haruka pulls away fast. He looks away, embarrassed but thankful for the orange hue of the sun that did well to hide his burning cheeks. (Somewhere at the back of his mind, he could hear his inner Rin cackling like a maniac.)

He’s not looking at him but Haru could tell that Makoto was pretty flustered himself.

“W-What is it, Haru?” he opts to ask.

Haru mentally tries to calm himself down. Get it together. Ask him if he wants to get some food.

“D…” Haru starts but he finds himself tongue-tied.

“Hm?”

Just say, do you want to get dinner?

“Din…ner.” he blurts out.

“Eh? What was that?”

Haru finds the need to slap himself stronger than before. (In the distance, inner Rin’s cackle grows louder.)

“Haru, are you okay?” Makoto’s furrowed brows indicate his concern for the mental stability of his friend.

 I’m supposed to be the one worrying over you.

“Haru…?”

“Makoto.” Haru said in a voice so resolute that it startled Makoto.

“A-Ah, yeah?”

There was a slight pause before a pokerfaced Haruka tells Makoto, “Come eat dinner with me.”

This time it is Makoto who cannot find the right words to speak. Surely, eating dinner with his best friend wasn’t something he should be feeling apprehensive about. He’s done it a couple of dozen times already and yet he could not stop the constricting of his chest. Because the way Haru had asked, it was almost as if he were asking him on a…

“E-Eh. Haru, it’s… okay. I don’t really have any money—”

“I’ll treat you.”

“I don’t want you to—”

“It’s fine.”

“But Haru—”

“Makoto.” Again that resilient voice takes Makoto aback. He wasn’t used to Haru being so… persistent.

Haru noticed Makoto’s slight uneasiness so he tried to soften his voice and expression. He cleared his throat and tried again.

“M-Makoto… I said that it’s fine, didn’t I? Don’t worry about it.”

Though Makoto did relax more, he still looked pretty uneasy. You needn’t be a mind-reader to know that Makoto was still not okay with the idea. You could see it in the way his feet shifted slightly, the way his eyes were intently studying the station’s cobbled floor as if it were so interesting or the way his sweaty palm was tightly clamped on his now sweaty forearm…

Perhaps it was because his shoulders were starting to get stiff from lugging around his bag. Perhaps it is because he was already feeling tired and cranky. Perhaps it is because his old bathtub was calling out to him. Perhaps he just wanted to. But whatever it was, it had pushed Haru to grab Makoto’s sweaty hand and dragged him out of the station.

“Eh— What— Haru, what are you— Stop—”

For someone as dainty as him, Haruka was surprisingly strong. And Makoto found it hard to shake off his grip. (Not that he’d put up much of a fight either) Eventually, after being dragged halfway through town, Makoto had given up.

“Jeez, Haru…”

“Shut up, Makoto.”

And even though he knew that Makoto had given up, that he needn’t keep holding his hand like that, Haru had still not let go. Sooner or later though, he knew that he had to. The sun was going down and pretty soon he was about to lose the only camouflage he had for his burning face.

_Just… a little longer._

**Oh? Being selfish now are we?**

_Shut up, Rin._


	3. All That Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So here's the update :D still a bit more on the fluff side but i swear the heartache's a-comin'! Jeez I worked really hard on this chapter! If it doesn't get any attention I'm going to cry ; w ; So I hope you enjoy~ Leave me a comment or a kudos if you did. Please ; w ; I want to know if I did good ahuhu

-          3     -

As it turns out, Haru wasn’t going to get his monthly allowance until tomorrow and unfortunately the trip from Tokyo to Iwatobi was a huge blow on Haru’s expenses and had left him almost broke. Almost. But as fate would have it, there was some kind of festival that was nearby. And where there was a festival, there were bound to be food stalls. It would have been difficult to manoeuvre through such a crowded area so Haru had Makoto wait by a convenience store with the rest of the bags while he ventured into the crowd. About 15 minutes later, Haru re-emerged with a plastic bag.

 

“Sorry. This was all I could afford.”

 

“It’s more than enough Haru!”

 

They found a quiet spot somewhere near the shrine wherein they dug in the bag which was filled with all kinds of goodies like pan fried noodles, squid balls, barbecue and even...

 

“Candy apples?”

 

Haru merely shrugged. “Thought you might like it.”

 

They finished the whole bag within minutes and then continued the tread back home at a steady pace, chatting about mundane things. Haru had asked about work but Makoto was really just tiptoeing around the topic a lot, preferring to say vague, generic things, so instead Haru asked about their friends.

 

Apparently or as one would expect, Nagisa and Rei ended up going to the same college somewhere in Hokkaido. Makoto and Haru rarely saw them though they did visit them both in Iwatobi and Tokyo every once in a while. Back in when they were still in high school, just as Haru, Makoto and Rin were about to graduate, a teary-eyed Nagisa made them all promise to keep in touch with each other via e-mail.

 

 _‘Especially you, Haru-chan!’_ Makoto remembered Nagisa say pointedly at Haru. Haru only looked away and mumbled something under his breath but Haru did start bringing his phone with him. But if he was being honest, it was really more for Makoto’s sake more than anyone. Though, he’d never actually admit that out loud. If anyone would ask why that was the case, well, that was because Haru had witnessed the strain Makoto’s been put through firsthand. Although Makoto tended not to rely on anyone so as not to burden them, Haru still made sure that he’d be there to offer him his support. So when he and Rin left for Tokyo, Haru made sure to always keep his phone with him.

 

Meanwhile, Nagisa, true to his word, had constantly updated them about every single detail of every minute, of every hour, of every day, about the goings-on in their side of the world. It had gotten to the point in which certain boundaries were crossed and the line between ‘the appropriate thing to say’ and ‘too much information’ had been completely tarnished.

 

Once he had even live-streamed them about a certain ‘clogging incident’ that happened in their dorm’s lavatory complete with pictures. One of them was captioned;

 

 _Rei-chan’s poop was too big! (lol) It wasn’t beautiful at all! (_ **□** **-□** _)_ ✧

 

Haru had blocked Nagisa’s number for a few weeks after that. An apology message from an embarrassed Rei soon followed, who politely requested them to delete the pictures and that they please ‘excuse Nagisa-kun’s promiscuity’.

 

“I understand how you feel Haru but don’t you think blocking Nagisa was a little too much? He was crying to me for weeks about how he ‘made Haru-chan mad!’”

“Those pictures...” Haru sighed.

 

“Y-Yeah?”

 

“When I got them... I was... eating.”

 

“O-Oh. I see... ... ... pfft.”

 

Haru glowered at Makoto who then immediately asked about how Haru was doing at school. Haru answered with a curt ‘it’s fine’ and didn’t expound more on the matter. He didn’t particularly like talking about the university. His grades were fine. He got along fine with his team and with Rin. But he didn’t like the look on Makoto’s face whenever he talked about such things. Underneath that mask of a smile, Haru could see some kind of longing beneath. Perhaps if things didn’t happen the way they did, Makoto might have even been there in Tokyo with him and—

 

“Oh hey, how’s Rin doing by the way?” Makoto inquired.

 

He didn’t expect Haru’s expression to contort into something of a scowl. To the untrained eye, it would just seem as if he’s making the same passive expression he always has on but Makoto knew better.

 

“You guys aren’t getting along?” he tentatively asked.

 

Haru clicked his tongue in response. Well, that answered his question.

 

“That’s no good Haru! Roommates should get along.”

 

“Not my fault. He complains too much.”

 

“I’m sure you’re just overreacting...”

 

“He’s a pain in the—”

 

“ **I’m sure** that if you guys just talked, you can work things out.”

 

Haru turned his head away in defiance. Makoto sighed, defeated.

 

“Rin has it pretty hard, huh.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Makoto only chuckled which earned him a glare and a light shove from Haru. Makoto tried to apologize but that had just made him laugh even more so Haru shoved him harder. But despite being the object of Makoto’s hilarity, Haru had sincerely missed the sound of his best friend laughing. He supposed he could let it slide. For now.

 

‘Stupid Makoto.’

 

After settling down, Makoto had looked genuinely repentant, though Haru could still see a hint of that mischievous glint in his twinkling green eyes.

 

“I’m really sorry Haru...”

‘You’re obviously not.’ Haru thought when he saw the side of Makoto’s lips twitch

 

“It’s just, you know... I kinda sympathize with Rin.”

 

Haru looks at him for a moment and waits for him to elaborate. Makoto sighs and pouts, putting a firm hand on the side of his hips.

 

“Haru can be a handful to deal with sometimes! It’s kind of... you know... nice. To have someone who finally understands how hard it is.”

 

A slightly offended Haruka huffed in response, turning his head away from Makoto.

 

“I’m sorry for being a handful.”

 

Makoto laughed again. Though he meant no ill will, sometimes it was just fun to mess with Haru like this. He was so cute when pouts!

 

“But you know Haru...”

 

Haru who was still pretty mad didn’t look at him or say anything. Makoto sighed wishing that he did but then again, this was going to be easier to say.

 

“I feel kind of jealous...”

 

Haru still didn’t look or talk but his arms which were previously folded across his chest fell down to his sides. Makoto took this as an opportunity to continue.

 

“I mean... I used to be the only one who could understand Haru-chan, you know?”

 

Haru wanted to tell him to lay off the –chan but didn’t.

 

“I guess... it’s kind of stupid of me to be jealous, huh?”

 

“...like you...”

 

Makoto stopped. He thought he heard Haru say something but it was impossible to make out. Haru had kept on walking so Makoto caught up.

 

“Um, Haru. Did you say something just now?”

 

“...”

 

“Uh, I guess not.”

 

Makoto heard him click his tongue again.

 

“E-Eh? Did you?” Makoto asked again. Haru was looking a little pink.

 

“Haru, are you okay?”

 

Haru sighed and shook his head, feeling exasperated. Makoto was beginning to think that maybe Haru was really angry at him and dread filled his senses. He was just about to apologize when he heard it clearly this time;

“More than Rin, I definitely like Makoto more.”

“Oh.”

 

Having been caught completely off-guard, Makoto, who was used to strange, unpredictable Haruka, for once didn’t know what he was supposed to say. All the blood seemed to rush up to his face, making his heart beat faster and coherent thinking impossible. Haru also seemed to fall silent and a good part of the walk home was spent in awkward fidgety silence.

Until, finally like some kind of godsend, Makoto’s phone started vibrating against the pocket of his jacket.

 

“Oh.” Makoto said which caught Haru’s attention. Makoto showed him the caller ID;

 

 **‘NAGISA** **ヽ(** **≧∇≦)** **丿*:** **･ﾟ** **✧** **’**

 

Both Makoto and Haru, for once, were glad for Nagisa’s timing. They pulled themselves out of the sidewalk to a nearby bench where they had stopped to rest and Makoto had picked up.

 

“Hello Nagisa?”

 

_‘Mako-chaaaan!!! You finally picked up! How was your day~? Is Haru-chan there yet?’_

 

Makoto couldn’t help smile. Nagisa’s cheerfulness always had this infectious quality.

 

“It was fine Nagisa. Thanks for asking. Yeah, he’s here with me now.”

 

‘ _Good, good. That’s great! Rei-chan, didja hear that? Haru-chan got home safely. You can stop worrying now, ya big nerd!’_

 

Makoto laughed and Haru cracked a smile. “It’s true Rei! You can relax now. Thanks for worrying though. That’s really sweet.”

 

_‘Hey now Mako-chan, stop flirting with my Rei-chan when I’m right here!’_

_‘Your Rei-chan?!’_ Makoto heard Rei’s voice in the background.

_‘Mako-chan, Mako-chan, can I talk Haru-chan? I want to tell him I miss him!’_

 

Nagisa voice was so loud that Haru had heard everything and just extended his hand to take the phone from Makoto.

 

“Nagisa, you’re too loud.”

 

_‘HARU-CHAN!! I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH! DO YOU MISS ME TOO?? DO YA? DO YA?’_

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

_‘EHH! Haru-chan, you meanie! Bully! At least say it like you mean it!’_

 

“I did mean it...”

 

_‘IT DIDN’T SOUND LIKE IT AT ALL RIGHT REI-CHAN?’_

_‘Umm, er...’_

 

“Nagisa, I missed you from the bottom of my heart. Is that better?”

 

Makoto broke into laughter beside Haru.

 

_‘MEANIE.’_

 

Haru only smiled.

 

 _‘REI-CHAAAN!’_ Nagisa suddenly yelled which caused Haru to flinch, _‘Haru-chan’s on the line so come say hi.’_

 

(The sound of footsteps and Nagisa saying ‘hurry, hurry!’ to someone.)

 

_‘W-Wait, Nagisa-kun please don’t pull me...!’_

“Good evening, Rei.”

 

_‘H-Haruka-senpa—Ah, I mean, Haruka-san! Good evening. Have you been well?’_

 

“Yes, I have. And you?”

 

_‘Oh, I’m also doing quite well! Thank you for asking.’_

“I hope Nagisa isn’t being too troublesome.”

 

_‘I HEARD THAT HARU-CHAN.’_

_‘Ahaha, I’m somehow managing.’_

_‘Hey! What’s THAT supposed to mean?!’_

_‘Also, Haruka-sen—... Haruka-san, might I inquire about the theories you asked about last time? Did it help improve your form?’_

 

‘ _YOU GUYS ARE BULLIES.’_

“Yeah, the way you told me to do it feels more comfortable. You really helped me out a lot. Thank you, Rei.”

 

_‘Think nothing of it! It is of my utmost pleasure to be of service to you Haruka-senpa— Haruka-san! Please feel free to come to me again if you have any queries.’_

 

“Thank you. I appreciate it, Rei.”

 

‘ _Okay, okay! That’s enough! Quit hoggin’ Haru-chan, Rei-chan! I wanna talk to him too!’_

 

_‘W-Wait— N-Nagisa-kun, please cut that out!’_

 

Makoto reappeared by Haru’s side and said in a soft but teasing voice, “They get along great huh? Maybe it’s because they’re roommates.”

 

Haru only glared at him.

 

_‘OH NO! We need to go soon Rei-chan!’_

“Where are you guys going?” Makoto asked.

 

_‘Oh, we have a dinner date~!’_

 

_‘Nagisa-kun, please refrain from using such embarrassing terms...’_

 

_‘Ehh? But Rei-chan was the one who asked me o—UAHH’_

 

_‘N-NAGISA-KUN!’_

 

_‘Ahaha, well anyway, we really gotta go now so... BYE HARU-CHAN! BYE MAKO-CHAN! We’ll see you guys soon~’_

 

“See you guys soon, then. Good night!” Makoto called out.

 

“Take care.” Haruka said in his usual curt manner.

 

 _‘OH, OH, OH WAIT! BY THE WAY HARU-CHAN!’_ Nagisa’s excessive chattering made Haru’s ears hurt.

 

“Nagisa, I told you not to shou— ”

 

_‘I HEARD FROM RINRIN!’_

 

Haruka’s whole body went rigid but only for a split second, being mindful of his current company, despite the cold sweat running down his back.

 

“Nagisa. **I told you not to shout**.” Haruka strained to say through grated teeth.

 

_‘Whoopsie! Sorry Haru-chan! I’m just so excited! But I guess it’d be bad for you if Mako-chan heard, huh?’_

 

“If I heard what?” Makoto said and Haru felt his heart rocket.

 

_‘OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME! REI-CHAN COME ON. LET’S GO! BYE HARU-CHAN, BYE MAKO-CHAN!’_

 

“Eh? What— ”

 

The line was cut much to Haru’s relief. He then handed back the phone to a confused Makoto. Haru gathered his bags and started walking again, hoping that Makoto would let it slide for now.

 

“Ehh, wait Haru, what were you guys talking about?”

 

No such luck. Haru gripped the handle of the bag tightly and tried to brush it off.

 

“It’s nothing. Nagisa was just being annoying.”

 

Makoto didn’t look like he bought Haru’s excuse though. But he didn’t push it. Haru knew he wouldn’t, but he also knew that Makoto didn’t like it when people talked about him behind his back. Even with his saintly patience, in the end Makoto was still human. But Haru would persist. This was not the time nor the place. At least, that’s what he told himself. Makoto fell into hushed silence beside him. The topic hung around the air like thick black smoke, suffocating them both. It didn’t look like Makoto was going to talk so for once Haru decided to talk first.

 

“It’s nothing you should worry about.” Haru said as sincerely as he possibly could.

 

Makoto looked genuinely surprised. Maybe he didn’t even realize how upset he looked. Or that he didn’t expect Haru to actually notice. That exposition had stung Haru a bit but he waved it off. Makoto put on that mask again but he wasn’t fooling anyone. Not even himself.

 

“It’s okay Haru. Really.”

 

Haru didn’t even look the slightest bit convinced so Makoto only waved his hands about in a dismissive manner.

“Really, it is.” The smile this time was at least more genuine than before so Haru was slightly convinced. Only _slightly_. Makoto scratched his cheek and he looked a little flushed.

 

“I-It’s kind of embarrassing to say this but... I trust Haru. That’s all I need to know.”

 

Haruka only kept falling deeper and deeper. Haru swallowed the lump in his throat and hoped that he wouldn’t stutter.

 

“Don’t say such an o-obvious thing.”

 

_‘Dammit.’_

 

Haru struggled to keep on a straight face but unfortunately for him, Makoto’s radar had picked up on his embarrassment faster than you can say mackerel. Before he could even pretend to stop himself, Makoto had let out a gleeful chortle. Haru only blushed a shade deeper.

 

“Haru, are you embarrassed? That’s so cute!”

 

“Shut up.” Haruka hissed but still Makoto laughed.

 

He laughed even when Haru glared at him. He laughed even when Haru started ignoring him. He laughed even when Haru told him to ‘stop laughing like an idiot’. He laughed even when his clumsy feet sent him tripping into the gutter. He laughed and he laughed until his cheeks started to hurt. And he wondered... wondered how long it would be before he’d get to laugh again like this. How long before he’d get to feel such happiness. How long before...

 

Before Haru had to leave again.

 

No, no. That was okay! Really it was.

 

**_... put on that mask again..._ **

Makoto felt full already. He was just happy Haru was here again.

 

**_...he’s wasnt fooling anyone..._ **

Haru always made him happy. Always filled him with such emotions that Makoto felt like his chest was going to explode. Makoto wanted to wrap his arms around Haru, to hold him close, to tell him just how wonderful he thought Haru was and how much he really meant to him. He wanted to thank him for so many things.

_‘Thank you for visiting.’_

_‘Thank you for the candy apples.’_

_‘Thank you for being so considerate.’_

_‘Thank you for letting me see you.’_

_‘Thank you for letting me swim with you.’_

_‘Thank you for letting me hold your hand.’_

_‘Thank you for putting up with me.’_

_‘Thank you for staying by my side.’_

 

There was so much. So much he wanted to thank Haru for and yet...

 

**_Not even himself._ **

 

‘Please Haru... please don’t go. Don’t leave. Please—’

 

“Makoto?”

 

Makoto didn’t even realize that he had stopped walking. He didn’t even realize how tightly he was gripping the bags. He didn’t even realize how badly his shoulders were shaking until...

 

“Why are you crying?”

 

Immediately, Makoto tried to wipe off the tears though it continued to stream down his face. He couldn’t stop them from coming as hard as he tried so he hoped he could just brush it off with a smile.

 

“E-Eh, when did I... ahaha, I must’ve—”

 

Whatever flimsy excuse he was trying to conjure up in his mind flew right out the window when the warmth of Haru’s palm encompassed the side of his face. It was... warm. Comforting.

 

“Makoto, are you—”

 

“Haruka...”

 

Just the way Makoto’s voice cracked, it made Haru’s heart lurch. Even thought Makoto’s eyes were squeezed shut, tears kept streaming down his face uncontrollably.

 

‘It must have been hard... keeping in so much.’

 

Haru felt his chest painfully tighten when Makoto had brought up his own hand to squeeze Haru’s.

 

Makoto was so stupid. Always putting the needs of others before his. He’s always been a nosy busybody from the start. He’d even go so far as to sacrifice everything he has, throwing away his future, his life, for the sake of a family that’s broken beyond repair. He wasn’t a martyr for fuck’s sake! Haru had offered his hand, time and again, but Makoto had always refused, spouting the same _shit_ about not wanting to be a burden. No matter how much he needed it...!

 

‘Idiot.’

 

They stayed in comforting silence. Neither had so much as flinched even when strangers who passed them by shared a sidelong glance or whispered among themselves. Even when Makoto had somehow managed to calm himself down long enough to stop the tears, he didn’t let go or didn’t want to let go of Haru’s hand. Haru didn’t have any intention pulling away either. They understood, even without words, as they always did. And that was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if anyone's actually interested, Rin goes to the same college as Haru and they're both in the varsity swim team~ And under the same swimming scholarship! Anyway, did I do good? This was a pain to write and I drowned in feels but I fucking enjoyed it. So I hope you did too~ 'til the next time!


End file.
